Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
