they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
