So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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