Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
