FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
