at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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