I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
