did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
