Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
