dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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