He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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