Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
