Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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