you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
