Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize
