Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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