im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
