i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
