therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
