Nicole vs. Life
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
