I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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