The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
