Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
