I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
