I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize