i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
50% drunk capacity currently
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
