You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Randomize
