allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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