How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
