Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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