I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
