Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
