i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
