i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Alive.
So much puke
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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