They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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