I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
