my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
