Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
