All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
