Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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