I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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