Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
