Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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