where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
