Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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