one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
