apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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