They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
