Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
