Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize