He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
