then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
