Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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