I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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