...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
