very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
home. puking in laundry basket.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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