And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
