There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
