I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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